The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by ISeeAnIsland on Mon 26 Jun - 20:03

@Helix

Laughing Laughing

Thanks for the crack! Love how "out there" the whole theory is, but then it throws in this nugget:

It discounts Luke as Rey’s potential father because he has been “off on a planet and can’t have sex with women because he is a Jedi.”

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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Helix on Mon 26 Jun - 20:12

ISeeAnIsland wrote:
@Helix

Laughing Laughing

Thanks for the crack! Love how "out there" the whole theory is, but then it throws in this nugget:

It discounts Luke as Rey’s potential father because he has been “off on a planet and can’t have sex with women because he is a Jedi.”
@ISeeAnIsland

I like how it just says 'with women'. I guess men are fine.
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Helix on Mon 26 Jun - 20:26

Maybe Snoke is Luke's bitter ex lover.
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Tex on Mon 26 Jun - 20:38

Helix wrote:Maybe Snoke is Luke's bitter ex lover.
@Helix

Then it would be an M. Night Shyamalan movie lol

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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by MeadowofAshes on Mon 26 Jun - 20:39

Helix wrote:Maybe Snoke is Luke's bitter ex lover.
@Helix It's all going to be one big light/dark orgy. Snuke. Gingerbuns. Finnma.
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Helix on Mon 26 Jun - 20:41

Helix wrote:Maybe Snoke is Luke's bitter ex lover.
@Helix

I channeled my inner Alan Dean Foster for this.

Spoiler:
"I can't love you, I'm a Jedi. I have a duty." Luke feels his heart breaking, but he must abide by the adages of old masters.

"--but what of our love," Snoke replies, hurt reflected in his beady, dark eyes. Had all their nights of passionate love really meant nothing to the old Jedi? Their love had seemed as deep and far-reaching as an ocean, both swept up in the crashing waves...
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Kyla Ren on Mon 26 Jun - 21:42

Helix wrote:
Helix wrote:Maybe Snoke is Luke's bitter ex lover.
@Helix

I channeled my inner Alan Dean Foster for this.

Spoiler:
"I can't love you, I'm a Jedi. I have a duty." Luke feels his heart breaking, but he must abide by the adages of old masters.

"--but what of our love," Snoke replies, hurt reflected in his beady, dark eyes. Had all their nights of passionate love really meant nothing to the old Jedi? Their love had seemed as deep and far-reaching as an ocean, both swept up in the crashing waves...
@Helix

LOL, that's awesome! Laughing   I think you should turn it into a full length fanfic! Laughing
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Helix on Mon 26 Jun - 21:45

Kyla Ren wrote:
Helix wrote:
Helix wrote:Maybe Snoke is Luke's bitter ex lover.
@Helix

I channeled my inner Alan Dean Foster for this.

Spoiler:
"I can't love you, I'm a Jedi. I have a duty." Luke feels his heart breaking, but he must abide by the adages of old masters.

"--but what of our love," Snoke replies, hurt reflected in his beady, dark eyes. Had all their nights of passionate love really meant nothing to the old Jedi? Their love had seemed as deep and far-reaching as an ocean, both swept up in the crashing waves...
@Helix

LOL, that's awesome! Laughing   I think you should turn it into a full length fanfic! Laughing
@Kyla Ren

with graphic, detailed NSFW love scenes. For all the hardcore Snuke fans out there. Wink
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by adamdrivershair on Mon 26 Jun - 23:20

Helix wrote:
Kyla Ren wrote:
Helix wrote:
Helix wrote:Maybe Snoke is Luke's bitter ex lover.
@Helix

I channeled my inner Alan Dean Foster for this.

Spoiler:
"I can't love you, I'm a Jedi. I have a duty." Luke feels his heart breaking, but he must abide by the adages of old masters.

"--but what of our love," Snoke replies, hurt reflected in his beady, dark eyes. Had all their nights of passionate love really meant nothing to the old Jedi? Their love had seemed as deep and far-reaching as an ocean, both swept up in the crashing waves...
@Helix

LOL, that's awesome! Laughing   I think you should turn it into a full length fanfic! Laughing
@Kyla Ren

with graphic, detailed NSFW love scenes. For all the hardcore Snuke fans out there. Wink
@Helix

It would take its place in the fan fiction halls of fame alongside The Trump Wars Very Happy The question is whether your Luke could stand up against Trump as the better lover for Snoke.
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by ISeeAnIsland on Tue 4 Jul - 1:56

It looks like one of our former sources of crack spoilers let his domain expire. I guess "General Flux"'s information pipeline dried up?  jocolor


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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by panki on Tue 4 Jul - 21:17

Here is the latest interesting theory...there is not one or two, but 4 Skywalkers in the new generation.... lol!


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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Helix on Tue 4 Jul - 21:23

I think people are so desperate for ideal Skywalker kids and the 'Skywalker Saga' idea that they don't realize having 101 Skywalkers kinda makes the whole thing less... special?
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Moonlight13 on Tue 4 Jul - 21:31

panki wrote:Here is the latest interesting theory...there is not one or two, but 4 Skywalkers in the new generation.... lol!

@panki

The best part:
Spoiler:
Luke had a wife who gave birth to Rey, and he had another wife before her who gave birth to Finn.
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by reylo1992 on Tue 4 Jul - 21:35

Moonlight13 wrote:
panki wrote:Here is the latest interesting theory...there is not one or two, but 4 Skywalkers in the new generation.... lol!

@panki

The best part:
Spoiler:
Luke had a wife who gave birth to Rey, and he had another wife before her who gave birth to Finn.
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
@Moonlight13

Skywalker males and their tumultous love lives! Now we know why Luke thinks that it's time for the Jedi to end, right? Twisted Evil

Don't forget the theories about Finn being Han and Sana's love child or Leia and Lando's love child lol!

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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Helix on Tue 4 Jul - 21:37

Two missing Skymoms. Razz
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Moonlight13 on Tue 4 Jul - 21:41

reylo1992 wrote:
Moonlight13 wrote:
panki wrote:Here is the latest interesting theory...there is not one or two, but 4 Skywalkers in the new generation.... lol!

@panki

The best part:
Spoiler:
Luke had a wife who gave birth to Rey, and he had another wife before her who gave birth to Finn.
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL
@Moonlight13

Skywalker males and their tumultous love lives! Now we know why Luke thinks that it's time for the Jedi to end, right? Twisted Evil

Don't forget the theories about Finn being Han and Sana's love child or Leia and Lando's love child lol!
@reylo1992

Right?... Anakin's love life was insignificant compared to Luke's (or Leia's). ROFL
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Helix on Tue 4 Jul - 21:44

At this rate Luke is going to be like
Spoiler:
Starlord's dad from Guardians 2 and there's a bunch of Skywalker and Skymom skeletons in a cave on Ahch-To. He fed the unworthy ones to the Porgs.
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by SoloSideCousin on Tue 4 Jul - 22:26

Helix wrote:At this rate Luke is going to be like
Spoiler:
Starlord's dad from Guardians 2 and there's a bunch of Skywalker and Skymom skeletons in a cave on Ahch-To. He fed the unworthy ones to the Porgs.
@Helix

Yeah, and here we are getting Mr. Rochester vibes from Kylo, when Luke really fits the bill. There's probably a wife in every hut and the porgs are so many Grace Pooles, lol.
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Moonlight13 on Tue 4 Jul - 23:09

The reason people come up with those theories is because they can't accept Ben Solo as the Skywalker of this trilogy. They need to have a good Skywalker at all costs. Rolling Eyes
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Geralt_Riv on Wed 5 Jul - 16:00

Moonlight13 wrote:The reason people come up with those theories is because they can't accept Ben Solo as the Skywalker of this trilogy. They need to have a good Skywalker at all costs. Rolling Eyes
@Moonlight13

Not everyone. For some it doesn't make sense that Rey is so powerful and she could be someone else. There are other things that helped her win the fights against Kylo than more midichlorians in her cells. I personally think that Rey has lesser midichlorian count than Kylo. It makes more sense to me in the universe that Lucas created.
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Moonlight13 on Wed 5 Jul - 16:48

Geralt_Riv wrote:
Moonlight13 wrote:The reason people come up with those theories is because they can't accept Ben Solo as the Skywalker of this trilogy. They need to have a good Skywalker at all costs. Rolling Eyes
@Moonlight13

Not everyone. For some it doesn't make sense that Rey is so powerful and she could be someone else. There are other things that helped her win the fights against Kylo than more midichlorians in her cells. I personally think that Rey has lesser midichlorian count than Kylo. It makes more sense to me in the universe that Lucas created.
@Geralt_Riv
Totally. People tend to forget he was badly injured (physically and mentally).
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Kessel on Wed 5 Jul - 18:12

So now there are crack theories that almost all the new characters are Skywalkers? What a prolific family! I'm surprised there hasn't been a theory yet that Poe is one too and he was hidden away and adopted by the Damerons (even though he was born before ROTJ).
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Geralt_Riv on Wed 5 Jul - 18:26

Moonlight13 wrote:
Geralt_Riv wrote:
Moonlight13 wrote:The reason people come up with those theories is because they can't accept Ben Solo as the Skywalker of this trilogy. They need to have a good Skywalker at all costs. Rolling Eyes
@Moonlight13

Not everyone. For some it doesn't make sense that Rey is so powerful and she could be someone else. There are other things that helped her win the fights against Kylo than more midichlorians in her cells. I personally think that Rey has lesser midichlorian count than Kylo. It makes more sense to me in the universe that Lucas created.
@Geralt_Riv
Totally. People tend to forget he was badly injured (physically and mentally).
@Moonlight13

Yes, that are some of the reasons.

My response to "there are others" spoiler:
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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by Helix on Sun 16 Jul - 14:58

Why does this image look like a psychedelic trip.

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Re: The "Crack" Spoiler Discussion Thread

Post by SkyStar on Sun 16 Jul - 18:33

Helix wrote:Why does this image look like a psychedelic trip.

@Helix

haha omg so sad, I wonder what happened with Skymum that she started to work with the FO and turned into Phasma
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